Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Africa - A man walks down the street

A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around

Howzit and Dumelang

Greetings from Botswana y'all. I've finally hit the heat again after a few days rain and overcast conditions but by the sounds of it I'm still trumping the weather at home by a long way, whats goin on there? Sort it out or I will buy that can of whoopass they have so cheap here.

I think I've finally hit what I had in my mind as Africa. The bottom 2 thirds of Naminia is all white folk farms dotted every few hundred miles but here in the North its very much where the original Namibians live and its much more lively for it. After we left Etosha National Park we headed just out the road to a San bushman camp. They were the nomadic tribes who used to roam the planes surving off the dessert plants. They used to live in Etosha National Park until the goverment kicked them out and so we went to where they were moved which is a very remote mud hut village surrounded by scrub. Their dress sense can only be described as "liberal" and when our guide came to do the tour with us wearing only a animal skin type speedo I couldnt help think of the waynes world quote and yes it was a trifle unnecessary to see the crack in the San bushmans bottom!

They should us around their village and the surrounding wood showing us methods they had to find water from plants and medicines from the roots and such like. May I just point out it was no thrill to see the womens tits, they had nipples like the tops of baby bottles and I mean literally, I guess porn mags probly arent a big seller in this part of the world. We went back to camp for dinner and they got out the guitar and I played them some tunes which highly amused them. They did chant "one more tune" which I thought was a nice touch. We got talking to 2 of the techers in the local school who werent too full of high praise. They told us they are all on goverment pensions and they dont have to do anything for it. Apparently all they do is sit around getting drunk and making babies which you can understand to a degree, why do something difficult when its all handed on a plate. Apparently the tribe have no ambition or desire to even leave the village but
the only way forward he could suggest was that they totally change who they are which explains at least the old folks attitude. The only future they have is to conform and act like everyone else which is sad really but such is life.

We headed on to a town called Rundu towards the Botswanan border and this was Africa as I expected. The town is right on the Angolan border so it is really buzzing with people and they are all black! How bout that. Its a real typical town in that although its mad busy and hectic actually buying things or going to an atm is the slowest thing in the world. They are all so laid back they are practically horizontal. I qued for 15 minutes at one atm and just abandoned it as people were just there talking in the que and others would wander up and use it and then there were security guards intent on having a full blown conversation with everyone that used it. You just have to take a deep breath and say T.I.A - this is Africa. You'll go mad otherwise.

We crossed over into Botswana there last week for a 2 night stay in the Okavango Delta and it was amazing. After all the desert and prairies and just general land we had covered it was amazing to see this huge swamp area in the middle of it all. The river begins as usual up in a mountain but instead of going to the see it just stops and seeps into and under the desert. Come to think of it, it probly just cant be arsed to go all the way to the sea. We got these wood carved boats called Makoro's poled by the locals out to the islands to bushcamp our first night. The guide was telling us that as there was no fence to keep the animals out if we went to go to the toilet at night we needed to flash our torches to see if there were any lions, cheetahs, elephants etc and if so to return immediately to our tents. I was just thinking if I get up to use the toilets and I see said animal looking back at me as I get out of the tent I will do the toilet in me pants
there and then no problems. Luckily there were no such instances but we could here the hiipo's in the water a good bit and the occasional growl from I dont want to think what.

We went for a safari walk the next morning at 6am and unfortunately we saw nothing bar a few birds. The guide looked disappointed so he tried showing us all the different animal shit to prove they were knocking around, I was reminded of the optimist joke of the kid who wakes up christmas morning to horseshit and thinks he got a horse. Anyway we headed to another island which was far more comfortable. They had permanent tents there with beds in it which is what I imagined I would be staying in the whole holidy, ah well at least I did see one so I know I'm not crazy. The bar had a hammock and I'm not joking you I'd still be there if we didnt have to leave. Theres just something about lying in a hammock sipping a beer that says "fuck off world, I'm on holiday"

But alas leave we did and back on to the ferry with two motorbike engines to ferry us and our large truck and 40 odd Botswanians (?) across the river. I was nearly as scared as the skydive when we pulled out of the "harbour", I was convinced the truck would topple. It didnt. I'm ok. Before you ask. We spent one more night in Namibia and we're back in Botswana at a real swanky resort. We're only in the campsite but having white skin is like carrying a gold club credit cred, ain't nobody gonna give me shit! Isnt stereotypical racism great sometimes! Anyway I'm off on a cruise this eveing to see some hippo's, elephants, aligators and what have you. I've seen 3 of the big 5 so who knows I might catch the other 2 before I leave.

Hope everyone is well and enjoying the Easter break. I was well looking forward to a nice chocolate Ice cream yesterday but of coarse we hit the one shop (probly not just that one) that has none. If only Jesus could relate to my pain.....


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